Are you more of a Rapunzel or a Dumbo?
1. The visibly dishevelled stress head — Anna from Frozen
You’ve been worrying out about summer exams since January and want the whole world to know about it. You go to bed at 9pm and wake up at 7am, and spend all the time in between Snapchatting photos of your revision overlaid with sad face emojis and crying in the library foyer. You have eaten nothing but Dairy Milk and salt and vinegar Pringles for two days, and god knows when the last time you washed your hair was.
2. The one that’s got a first before he’s even sat the exam — Sully from Monsters, Inc.
You knew you were going to be a corporate lawyer since the age of three, and there’s pretty much nothing you can do to fail these exams. Come June, spectators will watch in horror, confusion and envy as you glide into the exam (possibly wearing sunglasses) and barely read the question, yet somehow manage to spurt out 18 handwritten pages of unequivocal brilliance in just under three hours. Magic circle training contract offer? You’ve got five of them.
3. The spiritualist — Rafiki from The Lion King
Desperate times call for desperate measures, so you’re looking to the supernatural to get you through this one. You’ve started meditating, go to yoga once a week, blew a month’s worth of your loan on incense sticks, lucky pants and worry dolls, and are now considering heading down to your local Pentecostal church in the hope of inducing a religious experience. Desperate times, desperate measures.
4. The one who hasn’t left their room for two months — Rapunzel from Tangled
A 28 Days Later style zombie apocalypse may well have happened right outside your bedroom window, but you’re too busy re-reading Solange II for the third time. You’ve been a total recluse — you’ve muted your group chat, deleted your twitter account and haven’t returned your mum’s phone calls in three weeks now. No-one really knows what you’re doing, and you don’t really know what you’re doing either.
5. The princess — Marie from Aristocats
When the going gets tough the tough get going… so you decided to catch the next National Express home. Now you can revise in safe knowledge that your mum will give you a foot massage when it comes to the application of legal principles part of the problem question because she knows you find that bit difficult. There’s a bath, there’s a dishwasher, there’s food on tap — why wouldn’t you piss off back to mum and dad when exam time comes around?
6. The one who didn’t realise exams were happening until this morning — Caterpillar from Alice and Wonderland
You’ve been feeling really spaced out recently and didn’t really realise law school exams were a thing. Somehow, you’ve managed to crawl your way through lectures and tutorials this year with minimal effort and even less skill, though you’re always 15 minutes late and can never remember which room your criminology tutorial is in. Now your friend has just told you you’re actually being examined on this stuff — so it’s time for a beer.
7. The procrastinator — Sleeping Beauty
You’ve spent more time telling yourself, your parents and your friends that “it will be fine” than you’ve spent actually doing any work this year. You keep trying to convince yourself that half a day is plenty of time to redo and then learn that trusts formative you only got a third in. Citizenship in EU law? Yeah could probably learn that in a day, maybe five hours at a push.
8. The one that’s already accepted failure — Dumbo
A 2:2 isn’t even achievable right now. All hopes, dreams and aspirations have gone out the window: working in a bar for the rest of your life is as good as it’s ever going to get. The magic circle is a definite no, so is the bar. Training contract — that won’t happen. Maybe one day you’ll get a job in admin, but you dare not say that aloud for fear of coming across over-ambitious.