Lawyers jittery as to just how much power former Justice Sec will have by week’s end. We look at the frankly terrifying runners and riders
The extent of the terror about to be unleashed was neatly summed up by a Twitter poll organised by One Crown Office Row barrister Adam Wagner.
Asked ‘So, Twitter where would you most like Chris Grayling to be in Theresa May’s government’, the 625 respondents voted as follows:
3% Home Secretary
3% Minister for Brexit
2% Back at the MOJ
92% ARGGHHHHHHHHH!
Sadly there is unlikely to be a minister for ARGGHHHHHHHHH! in ever-sensible Theresa May’s cabinet which leaves the following options.
Chancellor of the Exchequer
Eeek. This is the kind of appointment to make even the normally unflappable Mark Carney shudder. Imagine a Grayling budget? Imagine him standing outside Number 11 holding up a red suitcase? Imagine watching him struggle to do his four times table.
Yet. This is the tip of Simon Myerson QC.
May concerned enough for her image to make Grayling Chancellor. Next to him she will shine.
— Simon Myerson QC (@SCynic1) July 11, 2016
Is she that cynical? Possibly.
And also of media lawyer David Allen Green.
Grayling as Chancellor?
Finance and economics colleagues at @FT are in for a wonderful time…
…worst Justice Secretary imaginable.
— David Allen Green (@DavidAllenGreen) July 11, 2016
Deputy leader
While having an idiot for a neighbour might reflect well on you, selecting one to be your sidekick tends to cast doubts on your judgment (see George HW Bush and James Danforth ‘Dan’ Quayle).
To have a man whose political career began, rather than ended, in failure is so spectacularly insane (May: “Can I introduce you to my deputy?” Everyone else: “Fuck, really.”) that no one has even suggested it on the lunatic asylum that is Twitter. However, this is the Daily Star’s tip. Frankly, that bloke with a chain of pubs has more chance.
Cabinet Minister for Brexit
Imagine one of the most important negotiations in our island’s history being led by a man who opposed the Human Rights Act because it “supported the rights of the few over the rights of the many”.
As barrister Max Hardy tweeted
If Grayling is going to be the architect of Brexit I hope you like caves.
— Max Hardy (@maxbarrister) July 12, 2016
Indeed. The Grayling is more than capable of negotiating us out of Europe and straight into the middle of the Dark Ages. The Caveman Cometh.
Little wonder, Sean Jones QC tweeted
Go find a lawyer and watch their face as they realise Chris Grayling may now be in charge of the Brexit negotiations
— Sean Jones (@seanjonesqc) July 11, 2016
Home Secretary
Yikes. Imagine the Epic Grayls with Grayling in charge of law ‘n’ order
As UEA lecturer Paul Bernal tweeted
Better than Chris Grayling as Home Secretary. Well, less hideously, abysmally awful…. https://t.co/A5GEk4rd93
— Paul Bernal (@PaulbernalUK) July 13, 2016
However, the great advantage of Grayling being Home Secretary is that before May the sacking of the Home Secretary was an almost annual event. Might May be paying off her obligation by promoting Grayling to the job from which she can most readily sack him?