A guide to what instructing solicitors are really telling barristers.
1. “Counsel is instructed to advise generally” = We would like the benefit of Counsel’s insurance policy
2. “Counsel is instructed to use her best endeavours” = We know it’s a crap case as well
3. “Counsel is instructed to vigorously resist the application” = Despite the fact that it’s utterly hopeless to do so
4. “The facts in this case are apparent from the statements” = The client might know what he means but we have no idea what he’s on about
5. “The facts in this case are apparent from the documents enclosed” = Neither the client nor we know what’s going on, but we hoped you might
6. “It is the client’s firm belief that…” = The client is completely obsessed and may stalk us both
7. “The client specifically instructs us that” = The client is a congenital liar
8. “Counsel will find herewith solicitors’ entire file of papers” = We are wholly unable to ascertain what may or may not be relevant, so you do it instead
9. “We believe this matter is capable of settlement” = We have no case whatsoever
10. “The other side are most aggressive” = The other side have also figured out we have no case
11. “In the light of the most recent information, Counsel is asked to re-consider his previous Advice” = The client went ballistic when he saw your advice and now has a note from his mum saying he’s right and the other side are very naughty boys
12. “The facts in this matter are somewhat complex” = The client keeps changing his instructions
13. “It may be helpful for Counsel to see the client in conference to advise as to the current state of the evidence” = The client is a psychopath who won’t take it from us that his claim is hopeless
14. “The client’s evidence is set out in the draft statement enclosed” = Until you tell us it isn’t good enough, in which case the evidence will change as required
15. “We enclose the Advice from previous Counsel” = The client is looking for someone to blame
16. “We enclose the file of papers from previous solicitors” = The client has found someone to blame
17. “The clients comments on the Defence are enclosed” = The Client has scrawled “Bollocks! Bollocks! Bollocks!” on the Defence
18. “The Client has a number of witnesses” = The client has a large extended family
19.“Your Instructing solicitor considers that the case of Donoghue v Stevenson may be relevant” = Your solicitor has recently been on a course to get some CPD points
20. “The other side have referred to the following case…” = Why didn’t you mention this case in your Advice?
21. “If counsel requires anything further she is requested to telephone her instructing solicitors on…” = But don’t expect anything other than general observations about the weather